SPINE UNCRACKED

I first came across Elna Baker’s stories on This American Life and Moth podcasts. Her enthusiasm, when talking about her various adventures, is infectious. She sounds incredibly fun, and her hilarious anecdotes make you want to be her best friend. If you have heard her radio stories, you will already be familiar with about half the content of her book, which consists of essays on various significant moments in her life, loosely tied up together with overarching themes of body image, romantic relationships, and Mormon religion. The latter is especially present, but even if that sort of thing doesn’t normally appeal to you, don’t let it scare you off.

The fact that people do get scared off is actually a major issue for Baker. As a result, she writes about Mormonism so apologetically that you can’t help but respect her for it even if you happen to be
particularly irreligious. Her religion informed many of her decisions while growing up, and continues doing so well into adulthood. It’s a big source of humour in her stories. Ultimately, though the effects of her beliefs are often tackled lightly, you can sense inner turmoil brewing. She doubts her faith more and more toward the end of the book, and clearly comes to think that some of the restrictions and expectations imposed on her are unreasonable. It makes me wonder whether she still considers herself Mormon today.

There are numerous online reviews for The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance written by Mormons, many of them disappointed. They mostly seem annoyed at her frankness regarding certain subjects as well as her occasional swearing; essentially, they fear her representing Mormons in a bad light. But really, these reviews emphasize how careful she constantly has to be, in order not to upset anyone in her church or her family, not to mention how admirably she has dealt with keeping a foot in both religious and secular worlds. It sounds like so much work. In my favourite of her stories, she talks about how she tries to say ‘yes’ to anything that comes her way, because she otherwise is obligated to say ‘no’ to lot of other experiences. It’s a system that often works well for her, but as already mentioned, the ‘no’ parts end up far being trickier than she bargained for.

Before I give the wrong impression, I should mention that, despite my fascination with the underlying frustrations in this book, Baker is actually a really sweet and funny storyteller. It’s a light, fun read, and I would certainly recommend it. Her writing style is relatively simple and straightforward, in contrast to how dynamic she is when she’s telling her stories live, but it lacks absolutely none of the charm.

The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance: A Memoir, by Elna Baker. $25.95.

Later, if she’s good, there will be ice cream. I will sit her prominently next to me, facing the street in her Petit Bateau jumper, secretly hoping that passerby will notice how beautiful she is, how cute we are together, what a great dad I am.

Aww. If this passage and his recent stint on Yo Gabba Gabba are any indication, Tony Bourdain has gone soft, right? No, the birth of his daughter just made him more self-aware. After all, he devotes an entire chapter to explaining how raising his kid helped him abandon his pursuit of being cool.

But he also quotes Lou Reed.

Reading each chapter of Medium Raw is like sitting with Bourdain in a different bar on a different night, listening to one of his stories, rants, pieces of advice. The narrative is at times all over the place, but it is usually very funny and yes, the man is completely aware of his image.

There is something so engaging about Bourdain’s writing that the dangling prepositions are readily forgiven. Some may consider his portraits of former bosses, colleagues and employees rather harsh, but he seems to genuinely appreciate how batty most of them are. Of course, lest we forget he was the first to call Sandra Lee the “hellspawn of Betty Crocker and Charles Manson”, readers are also treated to hilarious rants on his various villains: Alain Ducasse, Wolfgang Puck, Jamie Oli–wait, no, he’s suddenly being hailed as a hero. We like Jamie Oliver now. He can stay.

While the book is entertaining, readers may feel he did not put as much effort into Medium Raw as he clearly did when writing Kitchen Confidential. The latter is a more coherent work; those who are new to Bourdain should read that one first. That said, if you’re a fan, chances are you have spent or are planning on spending money on the hardcover. To hell with waiting for the paperback–his anecdotes, snark and gushing were sorely missed.

Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and the People Who Cook, by Anthony Bourdain. $26.99.

This book is pretty badass. A good 700 or so pages of enjoyable noir short stories, and an introduction by James Ellroy in which he says things like, “The short stories in this volume are a groove. Exercise your skeevy curiosity and read every one.” Does he only write in noir, or does he speak like that too? Because if I could accurately mimic the tone of first-person voice-overs in noir films, I’d totally go around narrating my life like that.

I’m only familiar with the genre in its cinematic form, but I think Ellroy gives a good explanation as to why it is so intriguing: it makes things like corruption and crime, gloom and misery seem like actual fun. There’s something glamorous about its downtrodden characteristics, and immersing yourself in this book will certainly make you want to quit your job and start a detective agency, even though the lifestyle will likely also involve murder and stuff.

The stories are generally delightful. I mean, the first one, Spurs by Tod Robbins, contains paragraphs like the following:

“Ah, the little wasp!” the bareback rider cried, picking up the dwarf by his waistband. “Here is your fine husband, Jeanne! Take him away before he does me some mischief. Parbleu, he is a bloodthirsty fellow in his cups!”

Man, I don’t even know. Other short stories in the book are more quiet than Robbins’, yet still striking in their own way (see Stab by Chris Adrian). Either way, it’s the kind of book you’ll carry around forever, cracking out every once in a while when you need some genuine entertainment.

I would suggest waiting for the paperback version to come out; it might suit its purpose better in that format. It’s a thick tome, but doesn’t deserve to sit prettily on the bookshelf as it might as a hardcover. It should look beat up and read, giving it the right amount of character to match the stories inside.

The Best American Noir of the Century, ed. by Otto Penzler & James Ellroy. $30.00, available October 5th, 2010.

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